Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Is It Raining?

I know I've told you more than once I needed to/wanted to/was going to write a post about our vacation in Ecuador.  Each time I wrote that, I was pretty sure I heard a collective sigh of relief from all of you out there in cyberland.  So I’ve been trying to come up with a way to not only entice you into reading a vacation post but keep you here until the bitter end … but I just can't think of a sneaky creative way to  bore entertain you.  Know why?  Because pretty much nobody wants to see pictures from somebody else’s vacation.  Am I right?  Yes.  You know I’m right.  Do you know who does want to see them?  You don’t?  Well I’ll tell you who wants to see them.  It’s a very select group which is made up of 1. the person who took the photo and 2. the person who is in the photo.  That’s who wants to see vacation photos.

It’s a bit hard to accept but I get it.  I do.  Why would any of you care about looking at photos of monkeys if you didn’t get to feel the monkey lick your cleavage, or
experience the warmth of their pee on the side of your face.


Looking at a picture of somebody ELSE eating pork from stacks of roasted pigs wouldn’t make your mouth water if you hadn’t actually chosen the pig and watched as the meat was pulled off and piled on your plate.   

And heck, a waterfall photo has no meaning for you if you didn’t have to look for an ecologically safe place because you thought you were going to vomit since your husband had so generously shared his “bug” with you.

So if you haven’t already yelped in fear and slammed shut your laptop, please don’t let the guilt of not continuing to read this blog restrain you.  I understand and hold no malice toward you because guess what?  I’m going to post my vacation pictures anyway.  Grab a snack and get comfortable because there are SOOOOOOOOO many … wait … what’s that rumble?  Thunder?  No…. not thunder …. hmmm … oh, I know … it’s feet … running.  Damn!  

Well, then....since there is nobody left, I think I'll just wait until tomorrow.



Abby said...

There's nothing like a monkey tongue in your cleavage. At least I didn't get peed on, I don't think.

Art Elser said...

Guess I'll not be able to share having a monkey tongue in my cleavage, since I don't really have any. And was that monkey who peed on Dean named Al? I wouldn't put it past him.

The pig looks good. How was it?