Showing posts with label fairy tales. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fairy tales. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Pied Piper Played and There Was No Cheese

Damn those bloggers! I think they’re causing me to develop an inferiority complex. They keep posting and posting and posting and their posts are not monthly or weekly, but daily. And they’re not just posting ramblings about escaping gases or body probes.They are actually posting about things they have built, or sewed or baked or traveled to see. How the heck do they find the time to do that? Come on …. a hand-pieced quilt in a day? Really? And you still have time to blog about it? You just baked six dozen cookies, five layer cakes and a gingerbread house for your son’s bake sale but you wanted to share your photos with us before you leave to attend your hot-yoga class and you’ll post the recipe for the duck a l’orange you’re preparing for dinner as soon as you’re back? Are you crazy?

Honestly, do these bloggers not work? Or sleep? Or eat? Or go to the bathroom? Who do they think they are -- Jack Bauer? Do they not have a hus I mean children to care for? How do they fit watching Lost into all that creating and blogging?

Oh, and then there are the followers. I follow. I have followers….a few….very few. But what is a follower anyway? Is it like a friend on Facebook?

Ha! I have 46 followers now.

Well I have 99. People like me better. Loser.

Should I feel bad that only eight people are following me …. and almost half of them are my family? Is it possible I need blogger therapy? Therapy to discuss the deeper meaning behind why I am not leading well? Therapy to show me how to grab the baton, step high and lead? Or maybe I just need to be more specific about where I’m going. Maybe followers just don’t like surprises. Today, my followers, I am going to lead you to the land of whine!

Or maybe I’m just not cut out to be a blogger. Maybe those daily bloggers with 175 followers and 92 comments on each of their posts are the same people who were the editor of the school newspaper, class president, head cheerleader and dated the captain of the football team. Or … oh, and I like this one. Maybe they are making up their own followers! Maybe they have created a bunch of new people and then they assume those identities and comment on their own blog! That would mean they need therapy. Hey! You there!  Yes, you.  The obsessive blogger. You are crazy. Really. You need therapy.

Wow. That felt good.  Maybe I just don’t care after all.◦
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