Showing posts with label turtles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label turtles. Show all posts

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Said the tortoise to the hare, “I might be slow but I’m faster than you.”

One day in the not so distant past:

“Where is the chocolate syrup?”
“I threw it away.”
“Wha?  (confused look, wrinkled brow, long pause) Why?”
“So I wouldn’t eat it.”
“Seriously?  How will I make cocoa for the kids?”
“The old fashioned way.”
“They don’t like the old fashioned way.  They like the ‘squirt chocolate in warm milk’ kind of way.”

Blank look

 “It’s hard enough trying to remember where I’ve hidden the chocolate chips.  Now I have to find a place for the chocolate syrup too?  I’m going to buy a plastic tub and fill it with bottles of chocolate syrup and packages of chocolate chips.  And I’m going to keep it in my sewing room.  Where you can’t find it.”

Shoulder shrug


One day in the recent past as children stood patiently waiting:

“Where are the ice cream bars?”
“I ate them.”
“ALL of them?”
“Yes.  You said it was hard for the kids to eat them because the chocolate fell off whenever they took a bite.   So I got rid of them for you.”
“But they LIKED them.  They didn’t care if the chocolate fell off.”

Shoulder shrug.


Yesterday morning: 

“Where are the marshmallows?”
“I don’t know.”
“Oh.  So they’re just in the cupboard somewhere and I need to find them, right?  You didn’t throw them away did you?”

Shoulder shrug.

            Headshaking and mumbling.  “How ... supposed ... cornflake wreathes ... marshmallows ... a bin!"


Later that same day:  

No, they're not here.  That was a red herring.  I just hope I remember where I've hidden the tub when I need it...








 



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Sunday, August 28, 2011

Turtles Are Musical

Imagination.  Remember when you had it?  Remember when the bus that drove down your street was an enemy tank and your rifle was a stick that had blown off the oak tree in your backyard?  Remember how you hid behind the fence with your friends and shot at that “tank” with your “rifle” screaming at each other over the deafening noise of zooming bullets until the crippled tank drove on to the next bus stop?  No?  I’ll bet not one of you doesn’t remember lying in the grass with a friend watching clouds float above.   

  • “That’s a fire-breathing dragon.  See?  Over there is the fire.  And it’s just about to burn up the knight on his horse.  Now the horse is rearing up and the knight is pointing his spear at the dragon.  The fire is making the spear so hot the knight's hand is burning but he doesn't care.  He’s making his horse rush even closer.”   
  • “No.  That’s Barbie’s hair.  That’s not a dragon’s fire.  Ken picked her up in his convertible and her hair is blowing out behind her.  And now the car is going faster and faster.”

Do any of you still have that imagination?  I seem to have lost a lot of mine.  Maybe it’s because I just don’t feel like I have the time to call it up.  There are too many other “important” things demanding my time.  Vital things like cleaning the house, or doing laundry or sitting in a chair in a cubicle staring at a computer monitor eight hours a day.  Or even this – writing a blog post.  READING this blog post, however, could be not be considered vital; but if you have spare time to read trivial musings, I not only salute you, I envy you. 

Dean’s the crazy, weird, eccentric one with the “Seriously?  You want to do what with that?” imagination – not me.  I, of course, say that lovingly.  I do occasionally allow myself to imagine but it’s much more mundane.  It’s actually really more like I’m dreaming.  “I see them … Dean’s treasures ... 


 flying out of the house like they had little fairy wings.  There they go … off into the sunset … glittering and sparkling … happy … not here …”






But, if it weren’t for Dean’s imagination (and that ever-swelling supply of “treasures”) we would not have provided the neighbors with multiple topics for their dinner conversation – like Rudolph.
 I call him Rudolph anyway because after he’d been “skinned” and sanded and polished and varnished Dean gave him this nose. 

 It was initially bright red but it’s greyed over time as he’s aged, just like me.  I felt really bad for him recently when Dean felt he needed to accessorize him. Poor Rudolph.  I just hope it wasn’t as painful as a naval piercing.


I doubt Dean imagined the multiple colors his finger would turn ...
 
 
 
 







when he was pounding on some of his other treasures 






 


to create this garden hose holder.  I know he’s been imagining tangle-free loops of garden hose, lying peacefully on the rocks ever since he pounded those two metal objects in the ground.  I just hope, when he faces the tangled mess of hose after I’ve been the one to pull the hose back through the openings, he believes me when I tell him I “really did try hard”.

Nobody has commented about Rudolph or the hose holder (not to our face anyway) but one of our neighbors did finally walk over one day and ask Dean what he was doing with the stump in our front yard.  I guess over two years of watching intermittent work on a tree stump with no discernible progress was just too much for him.  He obviously had no imagination at all if he was unable to recognize a “fairy door.”
























If Emerson, Myra and Pierce had been there they would have explained to him that Papa has been making a “fairy door” for a very, very, very long time.  We all call it the “fairy door” but it’s much more than a fairy door.  The door leads to a whole fairy house.  We don’t know how many fairies live there but Emerson discovered a secret fairy tunnel at the base of the fairy house.  Maybe the tunnel leads to the whole fairy city in the rocks that Myra discovered.  Maybe there are lots and lots of fairies! 



We all know the fairies must be very, very beautiful but nobody has seen one yet.


Once there were feathers in the fairy house and Emerson thought the fairies were using them for a bed.  Sometimes the fairies leave some of their own special treasures in the fairy house.  Nobody is sure if the fairies are storing their treasures in the fairy house or if they are bringing them as presents for others to take.  If only they could talk to fairy and ask them.




I wondered why the fairies would need stairs if they can fly everywhere. But Emerson told me sometimes they just like to walk  on the stairs, or sit on them. 

I think they need to talk to their fairy cleaning lady though.  Because they have been leaving fairy dust everywhere.


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Monday, July 6, 2009

Why Did the Turtle Cross the Road?

Friday afternoon as we were following Leslie, Ryan and grandkids on our way to meet Abby for a South Dakota camping trip, I started thinking about how it had been at least 15 years since we had camped with both girls at the same time. All at once it occurred to me that with Abby moving to Ecuador in January, this was probably going to be our last family camping trip. I was feeling sad and depressed that I'd probably never get to camp with both girls together again. All the memories of those early camping trips filled my head. Memories like Leslie's disappointment that Yellowstone Park didn't have swings and a slide, or Abby sitting patiently with bread on her head hoping a bird would eat it. Then I remembered that at one point during the teenage years, after one of those "wonderful" family outings, Dean and I looked at each other and said, "why are we doing this? Do we enjoy torturing ourselves?" All at once a final family outing didn't seem like such a sad event. But now I'm back home and this camping trip was better than great and I want to have more, but I'm sure it was our last with everybody, and once again I'm feeling sad and nostalgic.

Once we all arrived at the campsite the first order of business was to set up camp. For Leslie and Ryan that meant doing whatever you do to get a popup camper ready for occupancy. For Dean and I that meant putting up our tent. However, since it was raining, and tents are better put up in dry weather, some of us sat in the car watching while the camper was prepared and then sat inside the camper while the awning was set up. I admit to being a tent-snob and make no excuses for my belief that "camping in a trailer is not camping". However, I'm embarassed to say that it was me who sat in the camper as the awning was set up and sat in the camper until the rain stopped so we could put up our tent, but really, that's not alot different than sitting in your car while you wait for the rain to stop is it?



It seems Dean's membership in the Safety Committee at work didn't carry over into the real world



but the awning was erected, the camper was ready, the rain stopped and we put up our tent.



Once our weekend homes were ready we moved on to the picnic table shelter. This was a relic from the 80s that Leslie and Ryan brought along which required much reading of instructions and scratching of heads. By the end of the weekend we all decided it might have worked better if the openings had faced the benches. And if the purpose truly was to keep insects out, the big bumblebee and other flying bugs who joined us didn't get the word.







We actually saw a bit of sun Saturday morning



and then took a perfectly timed tour of Wind Cave which lasted just long enough to avoid the afternoon rain.



At one point during the tour Myra, now all of four years old, got going a bit too fast down one of the narrow, sloping walkways and in the interest of preventing a nose-dive with ensuing sobbing inside a cave filled with strangers I asked her to slow down. She stopped, looked down at her feet and said, "Feet! Stop running!"

It was a long day for some of us.





Saturday night we went to the fireworks display in Custer. We managed to find a spot approximately 100 yards away from the staging area and we were so close to the fireworks that not only could we hear them explode but we could feel the ground vibrate. During one series of explosions I felt like I was on the Starship Enterprise. "Warp drive, please Mr. Sulu".









Almost as entertaining as the fireworks was the drive back to camp afterwards. First we sat in our car, one of hundreds of other cars, engines running, going literally nowhere. Ryan and Leslie were ahead and finally creeped ahead far enough to take a left into an alley that Ryan thought would be a way out of the gridlock. Not to be left behind, Dean followed. The alley went up a steep hill and as we were nearing the top Leslie got out of their truck, came over to our car window and said, "this is a steep hill and Ryan needs some sp..." next thing you know gravel is flying, tires are spinning, and Leslie is running toward their white pickup. The pickup began moving faster, reached the top of the hill and turned the corner and we watched as Leslie kicked it up a notch running for all she was worth. The passenger door was open and I had visions of my daughter diving into the truck, legs hanging out the door as it continued moving. Fortunately, once Ryan reached the street he stopped and she safely got into her seat.

One afternoon as we walked back to camp from the lake Leslie and I kept hearing squeaking. It was very loud and persistent squeaking. We searched for a bird's nest and just as we were about to give up a woodpecker flew over to a tree and fed the babies that were hidden inside. Those babies never stopped squeaking/chirping the whole time we watched. It must have been very annoying for the parent to bring the food and still hear persistent complaining.



We also saw deer, buffalo, fish, heron, and a poodle. I mention the poodle because I was informed by my daughters that when the air is humid my hair curls up like a poodle. Later, when another camper walked by with an honest to goodness poodle I questioned their judgement but they wouldn't back down.




All in all we had great food, great company, great conversation, great smells and sounds and views and a terrific weekend.






Finally, why does the turtle cross the road? I don't know but I can tell you that he does. On the road to the campground, as you pass by the lake there is a sign that reads, "Caution, Turtle Crossing." One afternoon as we were driving on that road we actually saw a turtle who was just beginning that dangerous journey across the road. I hope he made it.◦
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