Thursday, April 7, 2011

Slugs Accidentally Wreak Havoc

Obsessed ~~~ Fixated. Preoccupied. Focused.

I have been told I can be somewhat obsessed at times. Obsessed with exercise. Obsessed with details. Obsessed with organizing. Obsessed with planning. Obsessed with writing lists and checking off items on those lists. It’s even been suggested I can be obsessed about posting to this blog. I myself have always felt I was just an extremely organized person and felt this personality trait was worthy of respect. It seemed to me that people who decried my so-called obsessiveness were just jealous.

Not obsessed ~~~~ Uninterested. Indifferent.

Recently, I have stopped being “obsessed” and have become the complete opposite. I have become so UNobsessed that I believe I have gone beyond just disinterestedness to a full-fledged slug. The me who “had” to sweat in hot yoga, or “had” to suffer through the agony of the elliptical, or “had” to religiously attend pilates classes – that me is nowhere in sight. The me who walked out of the office every night with “to-do” sticky notes stuck on her thermos – that me is gone. The me who kept a bag of Dove chocolate squares in her desk drawer for five whole months without opening it – she has disappeared (along with most of the chocolate).

In place of the old previous me is a me who has not participated in any activity remotely construed as exercise for the past 12 days. The most exercise I’ve been getting is pushing the fast-forward button on the remote. The me who used to complete items on to-do lists, now only completes watching shows on the DVR list. Actually, I might have exaggerated a little bit about my lack of exercise. As the concavity in the couch has grown deeper over the past days it has required a bit more effort to pry my rear end up and out of it. So I guess I am getting “some” exercise.

I hate these.

I know what took the healthy, happy, productive me and left a lazy, grumpy, soon-to-be-pudgy me in it’s place. It’s the weather. It’s “spring” dang it. Why doesn't it feel like it?  Why is it we are still getting snow?  Why are we getting so many days with these? (over the right).  And, oh, the wind. Holy cow. I feel like Dorothy; only instead of ruby slippers after my adventure across the parking lot all I end up with is grit in my teeth.


Not enough of these.

I want to see more of these.

So I say this to you Weather. Shape up! I’ve had enough! If you don’t improve soon I may never make it out of that great big indentation in the couch and then what?! The dishes wouldn’t get washed and they’d start growing green spongy stuff and the girls wouldn’t get fed and they’d start meowing and meowing and meowing and they’d be forced to eat that green spongy stuff but the dishes would be piled so high they’d knock them down (accidentally, of course) and that would result in broken shards of pottery all over the floor which Dean would step on when he walked in the kitchen and then he’d be bleeding and making a mess and he’d be yelling



which would scare Shadow and the girls and then they’d all run to hide but they’d be running so fast they’d slide on the wood floor and into the rugs which would get all bunched up so then when Dean was hobbling around holding his bleeding foot he would trip on them and fall into the counter and beak his ribs and he would barely be able to breathe and he’d need to go to the emergency room but there’d be nobody to take him because I would still be stuck in the big indentation in the couch and oh, I can’t even imagine how sad I would be for him.

Weather, you can see there’s more than just my emotional well-being at stake here. This is a life and death situation. So I say again. Shape up!◦


Abby said...

Sometimes you just need to relax. And if the weather helps you achieve that, go for it!

Why are all your kitties so fat?! They were just babies a few months ago, and now they are fat cats...

Leslie said...

I feel your pain. I'm sick of taking Pierce out for a walk in the wind. I want to wear something other than pants and coats...I want skirts dang it!

Art Elser said...

I understand your pain with the wind. I'd have offered to let you come down to Denver to get out of the wind, but it's been blowing so hard here that several mornings I had to check to see if I was in Al's house in Casper.

We've had only an inch and a half of moisture this year so far and the wind has blown almost every day. The only thing coming down here is trash the wind is blowing around.

We've had red flag wildfire warnings almost every day, and have had many wildfires in the foothills and out on the prairie.

Cathy, I can't imagine tiny you leaving an indentation in the couch. Now, if the government had shut down, perhaps the constant application of a small amount of weight would have left a tiny pucker. :-))))