Tennis Balls Aren't Green

A couple of weeks ago I noticed my box of dryer sheets was running low and since we now have those new energy efficient appliances I thought maybe instead of buying another box of dryer sheets and filling my garbage can, and ultimately the landfill, I should make an attempt to be more green.  So one day last week while I was stimulating the economy at WalMart, I purchased the Dryer Bar.  It lasts about four MONTHS!  Just stick it and forget it!  How perfect.  I could do my part to lessen the landfill AND keep my clothes not only static-free but smelling fresh.  And not only that, I would have one less thing to think about and I'm all for that because at this point in my life each new thing that must be remembered requires me to forget some other less important thing.

I dutifully used the last three dryer sheets and finally was able to use this nifty product on Sunday.  It worked like a charm.  My clothes came out static-free, smelling outdoor fresh.  The best thing was that I didn't have to worry about forgetting and throwing a dryer sheet into the garbage in my bathroom where invariably Shadow would pull it out, gum it and then leave it lying somewhere around the house.  I don't know what it is that attracts her to dryer sheets.  Maybe it's her doggy way of trying to soften her fur.  Or maybe she's got some kind of doggy disease, like those people who like to eat dirt, but whatever the reason, she loves them.  And I know it's not my cat because if it was Lily she would leave the garbage can tipped over.  She's nimble but she prefers crawling into a small garbage can, tipping it over and just lying there. (so there, Dean).   Shadow sneakily delicately pulls the sheet out before gnawing on it.

Since the temperatures dipped to single and minus single digits over the weekend, I figured I'd better switch out the two blankets and summer bedspread on our bed for the comforter before Dean started whining (more).  As it was, he'd been adding increasing numbers of blankets, bathrobes, and whatever article of clothing he found nearby onto his side of the bed until our bed had begun listing to the west.  So our bed is now winter-ready but since Shadow likes to use the sides of the bed to scratch her snout, rub her body up and down, scratch her snout again, more rubbing, (you get the picture), the summer bedspread had a nice layer of greasy brown mixed with black fur.  It needed to be washed.

Never fear.  I have the new Dryer Bar.  I can wash that bedspread, throw it in the dryer and forget it!  No muss, no fuss.  That's what I did last night.  I should mention that my mom taught me that bedspreads are never to be used as blankets.  They are decorative.  I use this bedspread in the summer but it's made of pretty heavy fabric.  It weighs alot.  Actually Dean probably would have been more toasty pulling it up over his cold body than all the articles of clothing he's been using.  If I would have let him.  But I didn't.  I tell you this because last night was the first time I washed it in my new high efficiency washer using the extended spin option.   Apparently extended spin option isn't a good choice with a heavy bedspread.  There was a moment when it sounded like somebody had picked up the washing machine and was throwing it against the dryer..... boom!. boom!... boom!... boom!... boom!  I ran downstairs only to see the washing machine walking into the dryer over and over and over. 

A quick switch to regular spin, the washing machine quit walking and then it was time to put my heavy bedspread into my new high efficiency dryer with my new green(ish), Forget It! Dryer Bar.  So far so good.   For whatever reason, I thought I should add a tennis ball.  I'm not sure why.  Tennis balls are great for fluffing pillows but apparently not for bedspreads.  Don't ask me why I thought I needed a tennis ball to fluff my bedspread.  I don't know.   It just seemed like a good idea at the time.  It's not.  Not if you're using the Forget It! Dryer Bar. 

When you come back to take out your heavy bedspread you will find that the tennis ball has beat your Forget it! Dryer Bar to hell and you have pea-sized bits of Forget it! Dryer Bar all over the inside of your dryer and lint thingy and in places you can't even reach to pull out. 

And after you've cursed and moaned softly to yourself, when you try to pry off the base that you have stuck on the inside of your dryer you will discover that the gluey stuff holding the base is there for life.  (please loosen it peanut butter). 

It's back to dryer sheets for me.  Forget green.  Shadow's snout's been looking dry and I didn't like the smell of the Forget It! Dryer Bar anyway.◦

Tennis Balls Aren't Green